Year 11 English l Write a better sentence

Use the matrix to improve your work by showing or rewriting 6 out of the 12 options in your writing

The Very Short Sentence:

"I really am invisible!"

The Simple Sentence:

"I was as furious as a rhino"

The W-Start Sentence:

"When 3 hours had passed"

Red, White, and Blue:

"He invented something amazing, life-changing, and unbelievable"

The Adverb Start:

"Suddenly, the sound went really loud"

The -ING Start:

"Getting sick of those 2, I had trespassed them"

Year 11 English l Post Creative Writing Tasks

Spoiler alert!

The 6 tasks I have completed for my creative writing:

1. Make the character introductions memorable:

So for this, I wrote: "Hi, my name is Micheal Gavrilla, I've got ginger hair, I'm tall, I'm NZ European, I love watching movies, I'm great at maths, I was one of the smartest people in my maths class, I love chicken burgers, I like watching the news and I also work at Burger King."

2. Insert strong words:

Here are 3 examples of this:

1. "The only thing I hate is when these 2 mischievous school kids named Logan and Levi"
2. "I went back inside and pushed the shiny light blue button on the chip so I could be clearly visible again"
3. "He told me that he had invented some kind of complex device"

3. Replace weak words with stronger ones:

Here are 3 examples of this:

1. Before: "It was time to go home" After: "It was time to go to Darryl's small house on Postnet street"
2. Before: "I felt pain spread across my arm" After: ""I felt a sharp sting spread across my arm"
3. Before: "I got so excited about the chip..." After: "I got so hyped up about the chip..."

4. Deleting weak or unnecessary words:

Here are 3 examples of this:

1. Before: "Ronald Crump's polls were rising but I don't care much about politics so I just ignored it" After: "Ronald Crump's polls were rising but that's irrelevant so I just ignored it"
2. Before: "I don't have enough money to get my own house because I am a bit broke" After: "I don't have enough money to get my own house"
3. Before: "This made it so I was actually visible again" After: "This caused me to become visible again"

5. The 5 SENSES

Here are 3 examples of this:

Hear: "I started hearing a faint noise, the noise of someone speaking to me"
Smell: I get to smell the crisp, amazing burgers being made in the kitchen"
Feel: "I felt a sharp sting spreading across my arm and through my entire body"

6. Figurative Language for the Sense of Sight

Here are 3 examples of this:

Simile: "I was as furious as a rhino at this moment"
Personification: I don't think the drink machines would be feeling good about this right now"
Simile: "He seemed as confused as a cat trying to catch a laser

Year 11 English l Language Features

Language Features: Simile
What it means: Comparing 2 things, saying something is like or as something else.
Teachers example: She was as fast as a rocket
My example: He was as tough as a rock

Language features: Metaphor
What it means: comparing 2 things, saying something is something else
Teachers example: The moon was a drop of silver in the night sky
My example: The sun was a blinding yellow light in the clear blue skies

Language features: Personification
What it means: Giving objects or non-human things human characteristics
Teachers example: The wind was breathing in my ear
My example: The frisbee flew like a bird

Language features: Alliteration
What it means: The repetition of letter sounds
Teachers example: Peter picked his pears politely from the park
My example: Nathan knitted nine neckties

Language features: Hyperbole
What it means: An exaggeration
Teachers example: I've told her that a million times!
My example: You've borrowed thousands of dollars from me

Language features: Assonance
What it means: Repetition of vowel sounds
Teachers example: How now brown cow. The cart went to the market for the chance to barter
My example: I used my phone to control a drone that flew into a cone

Language features: Onomatopoeia
What it means: Words that sound like what they describe
Teachers example: Splash, crash, boom, plop etc.
My example: The firework went BOOM and it lit up the night sky

Language features: Understatement
What it means: The presentation of something as being smaller or less good or important than it really is
Teachers example: (When a hurricane is coming towards you) "I see there's a bit of a breeze out here"
My example: (When you're standing next to lava) "It's a bit warm over here"

Language features: Consonance
What it means: The use of the repetition of consonants or consonant patterns as a rhyming device
Teachers example: Clair was caught drinking beer at the fair
My example: "I start the day by going to the church to pray and by the way, I saw a horse eating hay"

Language features: Pun
What it means: A joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings
Teachers example: "The Railway Society reception was an informal party of people of all stations (excuse the pun) in life
My example: This game had so much wrong with it on so many levels

Language features: Anaphora
What it means: (an-AFF-or-a) is starting each sentence with the same words as the ones before.  This will be most useful in creative pieces like speeches, songs and poems.  You could build it in from the beginning, or you could go through in the second draft and change the first sentence of every paragraph.  It’ll help if the words you’re repeating are the central idea or dominant metaphor of your piece.
Teachers example: It’s so preposterously easy to use anaphora.  It’s so preposterously easy to pick some words.  It’s so preposterously easy to repeat them.  Everyone can do it.  Everyone can start a sentence the same way.  It takes no skill.  It takes….. I could go on like this all day.
My example: "It's not easy doing work. It's not easy waking up in the morning. It's not easy going to school."

Language features: Epistrophe
What it means: This will be useful for songwriting, poetry, and speechwriting. When you end each sentence with the same word, that's epistrophe.
Teachers example: When each clause has the same words at the end, that’s epistrophe.  When you finish each paragraph with the same word, that’s epistrophe.  Even when it’s a whole phrase or a whole sentence that you repeat, it’s still, providing the repetition comes at the end, epistrophe.
My example: "I did good. I actually did really good. I can't believe that I did this good."

Language features: Chiasmus
What it means: The words of the first half of a sentence are mirrored in the second.  They are deliberately turned back to front and then repeated.
Teachers example: John F Kennedy told America that “Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind."
My example: “If we are on Earth, we are humans; if we are humans, we are on Earth"

Language features: Epizeuxis
What it means: Epizeuxis (pronounced ep-ee-ZOOX-is) is repeating a word immediately using exactly the same meaning.  Simple.  Simple.  Simple.  Be warned, though: epizeuxis is like a nuclear bomb.  It really works, but it’s overkill if you do it more than once.
Teachers example: The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.  The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.
My example: The instructions were simple simple, simple.

Year 10 Drama l Term 4 rewind 2019

So we have recently been watching the taming of the shrew to learn about acting and how to make good facial expressions and exaggerated movement. We have also been doing some mask making and decorating the masks, I made my mas look like a green pig sorta. What we did was we put on our masks and then just said some jibberish making it seem like it meant something, for example, "jbdivyjdbfdsfudsfhsdgfubfhsd" and yea those are the things we did this term, pretty fun, very cool!

Year 10 Drama l How I made my mask

So to the left is my mask and it is finally finished. So I'm going to be telling you the proccess of the making of the mask.

So it started with me putting some glad wrap over the base of the mask and then put paper mache over it. Then I let the paper mache dry and after that, I took off the base of the mask and then all it was was paper mache as you can see to the left of the blog. After that, all that was needed to be done was to put some tiny holes in on the sides and stick a rope through it so I can wear this absolutely FABULOUS mask

Year 10 Drama l Mask making

SO today I had finished creating my mask so here's is what my mask looks like to the left of this text:

This is the only picture of m mask I have at this point in time but it was a challenging proccess making this mask because I am terrible with paper mache but at least it's done (although it doesn't look great)

Year 10 English l My ideal world

So what my ideal world would look like is world peace, to do that everyone should get along.

No more starving or dehydrated people, to do that, give starving people food and give dehydrated people a drink.

Getting NCEA credits for dabbing in class at 10:30 in the morning, to do that, make it a law.

Nathan becoming a farmer, to do that, I have to convince (Nathan doesn't approve of the full uncensored picture).

And finally, everyone being compassionate towards one another, to do that, be nicer.